You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My pussy is not your playground.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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