oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
