This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I love you.
Bad choice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
