I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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