quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
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