Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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