Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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