I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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