You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
