he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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