I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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