We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
