they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
