YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
