woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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