apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
