Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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