I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize