Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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