Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
