Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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