You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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