I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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