her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
