my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
