we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
