talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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