If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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