Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize