whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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