i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
