If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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