Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat gives me a boner
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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