Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
