she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
