so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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