Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
