I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
