I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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