I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
