This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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