haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize