I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
