Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
