We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
