She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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