i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
