Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
