Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
