Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize