I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
someone owes me an orgasm
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
