I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
