You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just pee around me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
