Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
