i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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