I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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