I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize