Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
